Long distance relationships – on the art of missing someone

long distance relationship

These days many couples are in long distance relationships. Sometimes the reason is work (often when one person works overseas), sometimes studying at a university. Sometimes a couple meets through the Internet and it turns out that they live very far away from each other. In the era of modern technology keeping in touch should not be a problem, yet still keeping a sense of Intimacy in a long-distance relationship may be quite an issue.

Being together, yet apart – the shades of being single

If two people consciously choose to be in a long distance relationship – so if they live their lives in a newly defined LAT (Living Apart Together) way – it doesn’t have to mean that the relationship will fail later, when they eventually choose to share the roof. But the LAT model isn’t the key factor in a relationship – it would be hard to form one if, for example, two newlyweds bought two separate houses. This kind of relationships shows how differently being single may be defined – one could say they are half single, half in a relationship.

To people that are particularly active and Can’t stand monotony, this way of living is in a way an alternative to a relationship-based stabilisation and routine everyday tasks, which may be a great fear for them. This kind of people can’t stand stagnation and change, and variation is a key factor in their lifestyle.

Love in letters

An important factor in long distance relationship is whether it comes from a Personal choice or if it is a necessity. Not everyone is cut out for a long-distance relationship. People who like to share every moment of their life with their Significant other will probably experience it badly.

It is important to put effort in the relationship, have time for the other person, care about them and support them, no matter the physical distance.

long distance relationship

How to deal with separation?

In the long run, a long-distance relationship may feel odd: you do have a Significant other, but they’re not really around. Similarly to traditional relationships, the spark may go out at some point: at the beginning it feels like no distance is too big to overcome and you’re ready for anything life throws at you… but at some point you’ve had enough. Enough of spending your life commuting, of sleeping in airports and trains. The thought of travelling to meet again becomes Unpleasant, and the trips turn into chores.

On the other hand, when the relationship becomes stagnant, separation may come as some sort of rescue. Or at least it will give you a moment to breathe and figure out if the other person really is the one. You may find yourself missing them in your life, forgetting the disagreements. Or, alternatively, you won’t miss them at all: you don’t need them in your life, and the only reason you were together was out of habit. With the new Perspective that separation gave you, at least you will know what to do now.